Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21
Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.... And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourself treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Sermon:
The Body of Christ has an eating disorder. Lately, every Lent we joke about giving up chocolate, but for some it’s another good excuse to explain why they aren’t eating. Can’t have chocolate, gave it up for Lent. Can’t have carbs, gave them up for Lent. Nope, no sugar, no dairy, no soy, no... Now, I’m not saying there aren’t legitimate allergies folks have to cope with and eat around, but if one part of the Body suffers, all suffer with it, and I know there are beloved children of God who have learned to hate their own bodies, to starve themselves to reach some false level of perfection, who take this season of historical fasting as permission and even blessing to disappear from the world.
I have a friend from college who for a long time would wonder about how many calories were in the Body of Christ, even when we used wafers at communion, because she was diligent about counting those monsters, and sometimes after communion she would instantly feel fat and out of control and run to the bathroom to purge. But even though she was seriously ill, people around her kept telling her how beautiful she looked, how slim, how amazed they were, and jealous, at how much weight she had lost. She was making herself disappear, and she’s just one I know of who is healing and talking about her slow resurrection process.
But this season of Lent is not about hating ourselves. It is not about beating ourselves up for not being perfect. It is not a diet plan or forty days of the second coming of our new years resolutions. We enter the days ahead with ash on our foreheads as a mark of grace, not condemnation. We receive the burned palms of last year mixed with the oil of blessing, not to say we are all terrible sinners who deserve to die, but that we are mortals whose lives are wrapped up in the cycle of life and death, and we receive those ashes in the shape of a cross because even death is not the final word for us.
It is an outward sign of our shared humanity, our common need for air, water, food, and forgiveness. A sign also of shelter, welcome, and purpose. There are ways we have learned to hide behind our religion, but they are not hidden from God. We can complain that life is so hard and make jokes about it while struggling inside in ways we do not feel we can share. We can mouth the words of confession and make a big deal about carrying our cross in a way that glosses over the reality of our questions, and journeys, and vulnerabilities. But those things that we hide? That no one sees? That we think will stay forever in the dark? Those pains and sorrows, the reality of mortality, is not hidden from or invisible to God. In fact, God voluntarily joins us in them, taking on the same carbon-based body common to all that lives and dies.
When my friend who was starving herself finally got help, and I don’t remember how she did, she talked often of this hyper-awareness of herself, anxiety about how much space she took up, a strictness about measuring every last scrap of food even as she was getting healthy again. But she could not hide her sickness forever, no matter how much she fought it and tried to make it normal.
The Body of Christ has an eating disorder. We try to save ourselves and fail. We try to be perfect and kill ourselves in the process. This is not the fast that God chooses. If we fast, it is to make ourselves aware of our place in the world, our need for food and our connection with others who have no choice about their hunger. If we fast, it is to joyfully center our prayer on the God who always provides, always forgives, always brings life.
The point of Lent is not to make ourselves suffer. The point of Lent is to prepare for Easter. To consider who Jesus is and what he has endured out of love for us and for the whole of the cosmos. The point is to revel in our Baptism, or for some, to prepare for Baptism. To look into our mortality and take it seriously and find Jesus, and the whole of the Body of Christ, there beside us all the way through the end and out the other side.
We do not wear these crosses of ash on our faces to prove ourselves good Christians. You can wash it off before you leave if you like. But you are marked with it, and can’t get away from it. We all die. We all belong to God. Some of us seem to suffer more than others, but we are in this together, not solitary. We cannot escape the love of God any more than we can escape death. In fact, death’s hold on us is far more slippery than it would like it to be. Because God’s purpose for us is life, no matter what else may kill us. Paul said it well, and it bears repeating: “We are treated as impostors and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as perishing, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.”
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